First of all...do you people read my blog anymore or what? Where's the comments? I realize my life is utterly boring to you all right now but, come on, I love the comments. By the way, Dylan and Mom, finding wooden vases is way harder than I thought...it's not a common find and the ones I've found are really expensive even in $ terms.
So, today we did a little hike up a near hill to this place called Baul...just some rusted slides and broken down buildings and such. On the way back down I got to thinking. I've always thought of myself as independent, but now I know that's completely bullshit at least in one sense. I have to have a partner in crime, whether that be boyfriend, best friend, sister/mother, near me at all times. Perhaps this is why I tend to always have a boyfriend. Here, though I have Amy, Jill, and Greg, all good friends, I've been wondering why I've still felt like I was lacking something in my life. It's that partner in crime. The friend to go to the mall with me, wait for me when I fall behind, someone I know will always be there for me and will be down for adventure or just doing nothing. Of course this exists in the states, and is obviously why I haven't realized it until now. I was talking to Amy and Jill about this and they told me that I need to find things to do on my own that make me happy, or get a shrink (thanks Amy). Amy said some things that are her favorite in life are things she does when she's alone...not masturbation. I really couldn't think of things I do when I'm alone that make me happy. If I'm alone I'm sleeping, on the computer, trying to find out something to do with someone, etc. But I'm also not so sure needing people is a bad thing...how would I even try to break myself of that when, being the baby of the family, I've always been taken care of and had no worries about not having anyone. Perhaps it's not a bad or good thing, but it is something I need to figure out cause I hate feeling left, and instead of feeling left or disappointed, I need to just pick up and do whatever the hell I want to and not get so distraught with those whom I feel should give me what I need. I'm obviously happy with myself, but what do I do with myself when I'm alone, in the sense of now, of not having a partner in crime? Skype alot!
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4 comments:
The only reason I mentioned wooden vases is because you were thinkinng of getting them for Mom. Bolivia had tons of them but that is an entirely different geography. So it's not a big suprise they are not there. So get us something more Guatemalan.
Extraverts generally prefer to be with people more than intraverts do. However, I think it's useful for everyone to have the ability to enjoy being alone. I often crave being alone and there is a ton of things I enjoying doing alone. Hmmm ... I wonder if Dad likes being alone. I don't think he does.
Don't you like to read alone sometimes? Cook a meal? Video games?
Yes I read your blog, always, even if I don't get around to commenting.
Ditto on the wooden vases - it was just an idea. They would be kind of big to pack as well, knowing you already have a lot to bring back.
I don't mind being alone for a day or two - I always have more than enough to do. It gets kind of boring after that,just because there is no one to talk to. Your father has never liked being alone either and has tried to work on being content with entertaining himself by reading, playing guitar, playing Grand Theft Auto . . .
they say that you need to work on enjoying being alone sometimes. Errr, I prefer people around.
Kira I read your blogs but dont' have much exciting to say other than busines stuff and I know that is boring.
I think you should start talking Spanish 100% of the time for the remainder. I know it is had to do the jokes like you say but your purpose there is to learn it fluently and that means everything. You will be happy you did. Hey , you could come out of there with everyone saying "Kira, knows it best"!
The grass is always greener... Dylan and I both enjoy a little lonly time every now and then because 90% of the time we are with our spouses or trying to sell something. However, if you are alone a good portion of the time, its understandable that your'd want people around more. You're normal, you just have to quit thinking so much.
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