Thursday, December 4, 2008

I don't want to

So we're supposed to be doing research for our 12 page (can and will be much shorter) thesis in Spanish...the one reason I feel like I have to do it is because if I don't, I would be the only one who doesn't. I really could give a fuck if I wrote anything at all. I hate doing research, especially if I don't want to and on a topic I have to pretend to care about and then do a god damn speech on it. I'm very close to doing jack shit and saying, I'm paying to be here, and if I don't want to do this, then I don't have to and shove it up your ass. What's really annoying is that you're supposed to present the problem and suggestions to fix it...there is nothing we can do, nothing, Guatemala is fucked, pointless paper, AND, we've all heard all the topics anyways so it's going to be stupid to re-listen to the same shit. In reality, they just want us to be writing in Spanish, so we can really do anything. I could write about the prevalence of clowns at birthday parties or something really dumb probably. I hate writing with structure, I hate doing research and citing sources. I'm out of college, I don't need this for a grade. Some say they're doing it to have something they'll look back on, but, do I really care, do I need something to show me I accomplished something here I didn't want to do? Why do I have such an issue with this? It seems like such a waste of time. I have 2 weeks left here, the last thing I want to do is sit on the computer researching articles and reading them...I'd much rather watch sex in the city, or movies in spanish, read magazines in spanish, do my homework, memorize vocab, study, chill, enjoy my freedom, learn fucking spanish, not write. I'd like to just sit down and free write in spanish and whatever comes to my mind I'd do my speech on...maybe I should write about love. barf I'm so annoyed.


Mom said...

I'm going to have to do a lot of editing before I can send this one to your grandmother!

Have you told the directors your opinion on this? What is the purpose of the paper from their perspective other than an exercise in written Spanish?

Mom said...

Another thought - why don't you just go ahead and write a paper about their program and how you would improve on it. You can start with the pointlessness (in your opinion) of the paper you are writing and outline all the reasons you mentioned.

Dad said...

Noooooooooo way, it couldn't have been me who taught her all those colorful words. Nada. I guess she was annoyed alright - hey who am I talking to here?

I'm starting to feel a little like Christmas and am so excited to have you home and join the rest of us to celebrate the years end.

I am expecting a great year next year for us all -- Dylan with his new land and fixing up his house - You mother nd I with our new land and cool and crazy new house, my err fleging new business, and Lindsay soon to maybe get some new land and house and preggers for sure in 2009! Yippi all is well - I think I shall sing now: IIIIIII Wiiiiiissssssssshhh youuuuuuuuuu a Merrrrrrrrryyy Chritmassssss......

Dad said...


I just got an idea.
These people who are hosting you live in Guat and will, for the rest of their miserable lives. They want your opinion of how to make their life better. What a wonderful thing to be asked for. You have special information to give them since you understand how the USA works and see things from a much greater prosective than any of them having lived both places. You don't have to do much research since you have it all in your mind and just have to get it out.
Imagine you have been requested to be queen of Guat for 5 years and your job is to make give everyone a better life. How would you do it and hwere would you start. Its easy to bitch at governments and all but put yourself as the governing body and imagine how to make their life better. Who knows, they may send it to their government and they may pay you for your wisdom.
Here are some ideas: Teach everyone at home and at school to NEVER trash their country. Give them the reason why. That is, tell them that it waists manpower to clean up the trash which could be better used to make a chair or a boat, etc. which have real value. Tell them to stop praying to ghost gods and take responsibility for their actions. Turn the churches into factories and give the girls birth control pills so they can work a few years in them before they have children creating even more value. Their is a disposal problem for spent nuclear fuel. Maybe they can be the worlds nuclear fuel displsal site and charge a fortune for doing so. If you look at the difference between rich and poor countries you will find a common thread - education based on reason. Educated people are more scientific and as such don't vote for socializm which drains wealth and creates an inefficient society. Make the government allow and encourage charter schools. Dismatle most government services that promote lazyness rather than selfsufficiency. Let the lazy people die so they don't drag down the rest - their children will work harder having observed their lazy parents fate. Tell them to legalize all drugs to encourage the stupid to overdose so they are not a burden on society. Teach a generation of kids in school that exersize creates a strong long lasting and efficent body and mind and fire any teacher or govenment official that has a BMI in the Obese area. Do not let everybody vote in the country like in the USA. The single most failure of the USA is allowing government employees or companies that use government loot (our money) to vote their salaries and steal even more of it. This will automatically reduce the size of government. Eliminate all programs that are not consistent with the purpose of government: To have a army to protect you from forein invaders, too have a police force to protect citizens from force and fraud, to have a judicial system that arbitrates conflicts between companies or people,to have an enviornmental department to ensure that industry does not cause long term health affects to the land, to have a LIMITED taxing department that provides finds for the above workers. Other than that NO OTHER DEPARTMENTS! Just doing the above will elevate Gua to internaitonal status freeing the mighty hand of free enterprise and free trade amonst humans - each gaining through the millions of individual transactions.

So there you go, I'm sure you can think of many more ways to help Guats. What an important paper you have that may be read by many more people than you think. It takes one spark, one dream, from one person to ignite the fire in millions - you could be that spark. Ga'Day

Dylan said...

It's silly that you don't want to write this paper. You're down there in part to learn Spanish. I've never researched in Spanish or written a long structured report. You'll get something out of it.

My guess is that the reason you don't want to write it is that you hate public speaking so much and you're trying to find a way out of it.

Surely there is a topic that you would find interesting. Try brainstorming topics first. I'd like to read a report on why Guatemala is not a tourist destination and some suggestions on how it could become one. The place sounds amazing but you're the only person I've ever known to go there.

Personally, I'm looking forward to reading your report. And if you can get up and give a speach in Spanish, mustering all courage, I think that would be a giant milestone for this trip.

"... after all that adventure I gave a speech in Spanish ... errr ... a fucking speech in Spanish."

Lindsay said...

Have fun while you're clowning.
Make yourself smile too.
Let it all hang out.
Do what you gotta do.
Act silly, be a nut.
Sing, dance, do the clown strut.

Why not? Your're a goof.
They pay you well.
You can't afford not to.
The world needs a smile.
And you have a few extras
in your clown stock pile.
So smile, sing do your thing.
And remember this-
A smile is just a frown turned upside down.
And if you see someone without a smile,
give him one of yours!