Thursday, December 4, 2008
I don't want to
So we're supposed to be doing research for our 12 page (can and will be much shorter) thesis in Spanish...the one reason I feel like I have to do it is because if I don't, I would be the only one who doesn't. I really could give a fuck if I wrote anything at all. I hate doing research, especially if I don't want to and on a topic I have to pretend to care about and then do a god damn speech on it. I'm very close to doing jack shit and saying, I'm paying to be here, and if I don't want to do this, then I don't have to and shove it up your ass. What's really annoying is that you're supposed to present the problem and suggestions to fix it...there is nothing we can do, nothing, Guatemala is fucked, pointless paper, AND, we've all heard all the topics anyways so it's going to be stupid to re-listen to the same shit. In reality, they just want us to be writing in Spanish, so we can really do anything. I could write about the prevalence of clowns at birthday parties or something really dumb probably. I hate writing with structure, I hate doing research and citing sources. I'm out of college, I don't need this for a grade. Some say they're doing it to have something they'll look back on, but, do I really care, do I need something to show me I accomplished something here I didn't want to do? Why do I have such an issue with this? It seems like such a waste of time. I have 2 weeks left here, the last thing I want to do is sit on the computer researching articles and reading them...I'd much rather watch sex in the city, or movies in spanish, read magazines in spanish, do my homework, memorize vocab, study, chill, enjoy my freedom, learn fucking spanish, not write. I'd like to just sit down and free write in spanish and whatever comes to my mind I'd do my speech on...maybe I should write about love. barf I'm so annoyed.
Posted by Kira Landis at 4:18 PM